


Illuminated

by IchiBri



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas Eve, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 14:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8893873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IchiBri/pseuds/IchiBri
Summary: After being unexpectedly confessed to by Makoto, Haru has trouble finding a way to convey his feelings.  But then he realizes Christmas Eve might be the perfect opportunity.





	

It shouldn’t have been this hard, Haruka thought as he exited what had to be the sixth shop he visited that afternoon.  No matter how many knickknacks or gadgets or t-shirts he browsed through, nothing stood out to him.  Or more like, nothing was good enough to give Makoto.  Even if the other man would have been thrilled receiving anything Haru picked, Haruka wanted something special.  And he refused to settle for anything less.

He huffed a quiet sigh, glancing at the remaining shops on the street before stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.  He turned the opposite way for the station.  Why was this so hard?  It wasn’t like that was his first time giving Makoto a gift.  They’d exchanged presents for as long as Haruka could remember, all the way back to scribbled drawings as toddlers.  But none of those past gifts held as much weight – as much emotion – as this one had to.

His mind wandered back to a week prior, to him cooking breakfast in his and Makoto’s shared apartment.  When they entered university, living together came naturally to them.  It was more out of convenience than necessity, and Haru had grown accustomed to their daily routine.  So when Makoto had been late in waking up and opted to skip breakfast, Haru knew something was amiss.

He followed Makoto to the apartment door, watching the other kneel down to tie his shoelaces.  Makoto’s fingers fumbled with the strings, twitching and trembling as if electricity sparked through his veins.  When he straightened, Makoto reached for his jacket hanging from a hook on the wall.  Broad back to Haru, he grasped the wool jacket.  His arm froze, outstretched with fingers bunching up the olive-green fabric.

“Mako–”

But that’s all Haru managed to get out before Makoto spun to face him.  With flushed cheeks and dilated eyes, Makoto opened his mouth to speak but only managed a small breath of air.  His jaw snapped shut before trying again, but still he couldn’t find the proper words to say.  His hands twisted in his jacket, holding it against his abdomen like a safety blanket.

Haru took in his best friend’s state with a brow furrowed in concern.  His fingers twitched at his side, ready to reach out in what little support he could offer.

But before the chance arose, Makoto squeezed his emerald eyes shut and blurted, “I like you.  I _like_ like you.”

The words hung in the air, suspended between them as Makoto blinked in surprise.  His lips parted as widened eyes locked with Haru’s for a mere moment – a flash of time in which the world stopped.  But the moment passed as time resumed, and the frantic beating of his own heart echoed in Makoto’s ears.  He darted for the door and slipped outside without waiting for a response.

Haru was left watching the door slam shut, his arm half raised to catch the sleeve of Makoto’s sweater.  But instead of the expected softness, Haru’s fingers closed around air – the same air that was now heavy in his lungs.

For the following week, the apartment’s air still clung to the inside of Haru like paste.  It seeped through his nose and oozed down his throat like molasses.  Each breath weighed him down as his lungs filled, and never before had he felt like he was drowning upon land.

But Makoto seemed to breathe fine, and Haru didn’t understand how the other could go about his days without gasping for the crisp winter air outside the windows.  Makoto still smiled at Haru with the same dopey grin and jewel-like eyes.  He still dried dishes after dinner while telling Haru about the phone call he received from his younger siblings that afternoon, all with the same delighted and tender voice.

That trust placed upon him – the trust that he would give Makoto a proper reply when he was ready to – bore upon his heart.  Late into the evenings, after Makoto had fallen asleep and the apartment lay dark and quiet, Haru gazed through the night to stare at the shadows cast through the blinds by streetlamps outside.

Haru knew his answer.  A part of him had always known.  Because Makoto being beside him felt natural.  It felt right even when the world felt wrong.  Back in high school, on the night when Makoto first told Haru he’d be studying in Tokyo, that was when it finally hit Haru; and it hit him hard right where it hurt the most.  Because even the thought of not having Makoto in his life seemed unreal.  And the reality that they would be separated upon graduation struck him with enough force to shatter his heart.

But they hadn’t separated.  They grew closer, and the development seemed as natural to Haru as swimming.  He never really thought they needed to define their relationship, because they both knew what the other meant to them.  But if Makoto wanted a definite answer, then Haru would give it to him.

Which led Haru to his failed shopping excursion.  Haru was a man of actions, as words often times failed him.  But in this instance, he was at an utter loss.  Nothing screamed _I love you, always have and always will_.  Flowers were out of season, and the sad wilted petals of imported roses spoke more of a dying love than a blooming one.  Chocolates reminded him more of Valentine’s or White Day and seemed a little too impersonal for his intentions.

He sighed as he walked down the sidewalk, watching his breath curl in the chill winter air.  His gaze followed the white wisps into the sky.  From his peripheral vision, a barren tree branch had his steps faltering.  He paused to stare at the tree.  With the sky darkening and the night closing in on the city, the tree branches shined with bulbs of lights.  The white light wrapped around the tree like a fresh layer of snow, and it had the gears of Haru’s mind spinning.

For the first time in a week and a half, Haruka’s heart felt light as air.  The weight bearing down upon his chest lifted, and he knew exactly how to give Makoto a proper response.

His pace quickened the entire way back to the apartment.  When he finally reached it, Haru wasted no time in slipping out of his coat and scarf and shoes.  He found Makoto sitting upon the living room couch, his legs tucked beneath him and his dark-rimmed glasses perched on his nose.

Makoto looked up from the book resting against the couch’s armrest, smile as bright and tender as always.  “Welcome back.”

“Do you have any plans for the 24th?”

Makoto blinked at the question.  “Christmas Eve?  No, why?”

The corners of Haru’s lips twitched upwards.  “Good.  Keep it open.”

Makoto stared blankly at Haru, his head tilted slightly.  “What’s happening on the 24th?”

“It’s a surprise.”  Haru turned from the bright green eyes burning with curiosity before Makoto could see the blush dusting his cheeks.

“Ehh?  Haru~ Tell me!” Makoto whined.  He stood, setting down his book before following Haru into the kitchen to pester an answer out of Haru.

But Haru kept his lips sealed and his surprise closely guarded.  Even when Makoto enlisted Nagisa in his extraction efforts, Haru dodged every text message and phone call.

By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, both Makoto and Haru were at the end of their ropes.  The entire day Makoto spent lingering near Haru, so close they could often hear each other’s heartbeats.  And Haru struggled to stay in one spot, his legs constantly inching to move.  When the sun finally set outside the window and gave way for the moon, Haru tugged at Makoto’s sleeve.

The simple action had Makoto following Haru to the entryway.  They both hastily slipped into their jackets, and Haru wrapped a scarf around his neck.  He reached for Makoto’s scarf, holding the length of coral fabric in his hands.  He hesitated for a mere moment as his eyes flicked to Makoto, who stared quizzically back at him.  Haru pushed the worries from his mind and draped the scarf around the back of Makoto’s neck, wrapping the ends loosely to keep in his warmth.

When Haru withdrew his hands and stepped back, he found Makoto’s gaze directed at him, emerald eyes shining and crinkled at their corners.  He ducked for the door and held it open for Makoto to pass through.

They exited into abnormally heavy foot traffic, especially for their quiet residential neighborhood.  But it was to be expected that many couples would be out and about on Christmas Eve.  As they neared the station, Haru used the heavy crowds as an excuse to link his fingers with Makoto’s.

Makoto stuttered a quiet gasp at the contact, but his warm fingers readily closed around Haru’s colder ones.  They walked shoulder to shoulder, brushing up against each other more than necessary.

When they reached the station, Makoto was surprised to be led past it, down the wide sidewalk with bare trees lining closest to the street.  Each tree sparkled with life, hundreds of twinkling white lights shining like stars in the sky.  Their pace slowed to a lazy stroll as Makoto stared in awe at the illuminations.

But while Makoto was focused on the lights, Haru couldn’t pull his gaze away from Makoto.  Little puffs of air left Makoto's slightly parted lips as a gentle breeze ruffled the fringe of his hair. The glowing Christmas lights reflected in his equally shining eyes, and Haru adored the childlike wonder and awe in the depths of them.

The crowd grew as they came upon the shopping center that was their final destination. Haru led Makoto across the street to a less densely packed viewing spot further back from the clustered mass of people. He quickly pulled his cellphone from his pocket to check the time.

They were right on time.

The shopping center's display lit up with thousands of blue-tinted lights that twisted their way up towering Christmas trees and spread out upon the ground like an ocean. The twinkling lilt of music resounded around them, and the lights flickered to the rhythm, resembling rolling waves of the sea. Trails of golden light soared like shooting stars and flitted around the trees like dragonflies.

The music darkened as the lights flashed red and orange in the night. They crackled like growing flames as they consumed the blue tint of the Christmas trees. Burnt orange embers drifted with the wind as the lights went dark. But a heartbeat later, the music softened again as flashes of fireflies brought with them the green sprouts of grass.

Makoto's fingers squeezed tighter around Haru's, and Haru pulled his gaze away from the dancing lights. The illuminations burned bright in Makoto's awe-inspired eyes. The ever-changing lights fell upon Makoto's cheeks, flushed red from the cold.

Haru leaned into Makoto's side, stretching up on the balls of his feet. His lips pressed against Makoto's flushed cheeks, and he felt Makoto's entire body stiffen. But just as fast, Makoto relaxed, melting into Haru like he needed to be closer, needed to feel more of him.

When Haru pulled back, he was met with Makoto's unwavering gaze. A flush which surely matched his own darkened Makoto's cheeks even more and spread to the tips of his ears. Bright with euphoric hope, the gleam to his dazzling green eyes held an unspoken question.

Haru nodded, "I like you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me @ichibri on tumblr and twitter


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